GO HOME WADE
by SParkie96
Summary: Several Times Deadpool was shunned from the Helicarrier and several Heroes' homes. Rated T-M for Deadpool's sick and twisted humor and language. Also a crossover due to crossing over into the DC universe and several cartoons and shows.
1. Chapter 1

**GO HOME WADE**

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**Summary: Several Times Deadpool was shunned from the Helicarrier and several Heroes' homes. Rated T-M for Deadpool's sick and twisted humor and language. Also a crossover due to crossing over into the DC universe and several cartoons and shows. **

**Author's Note: I recently became very fond of the Merc with the Mouth. I had also read several of his comics, saw his video game and watched the Ultimate Spiderman episode: "The Ultimate Deadpool". I've also watched several videos on Youtube with a guy dressed as Deadpool invading several comic book conventions. Long story short: I absolutely love the character. **

**So, I figured, why not write a fanfic about the funny psycho? **

**In case you're all wondering, yes this is an AU from the Marvel Movies and DC movies and yadda yadda yadda... (as a reminder, this is sort of set in my Teen Heroes universe. Yes, Justin Bieber will be the adopted son of Tony Stark. See my profile for further details on OC's not recognized.) **

**Disclaimer: I only own several of my OC's who only make minor cameos.**

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**Chapter One: No One Screws with Tony Stark**

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**Stark Tower...**

The sound of machinery and tinkering echoed throughout the wings of the laboratory. Over top of the sounds, faint ACDC could be heard blaring through the speakers of said lab as well. Through the doors, one would said playboy billionaire Tony Stark fixing up his Iron Man suit. He crazily sang along with the song in a not-too-serious and not-too-well manner. He paused in his working to play the air guitar during the guitar solo part of the song. Dum-E, the robotic cleaner who currently wore a "Dunce" cap, looked over with his single optic, very curious as to what his master was doing. Once the guitar solo finished, Tony continued to weld the currently opened "wound" shut on his armor. Tony caught the robot staring out of the corner of his eye,

"Dum-E, there's a reason you're wearing that cap, remember?" he asked, looking over his goggles to scold the robot.

The little bot released a sort of whine and lowered its claw to pick up its forgotten broom, continuing to sweep up the floors. Tony shook his head in mock disappointment, using a tiny remote in front of him to change the song. LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know" began to play, making the billionaire shimmy his shoulders, shake his hips and bob his head, singing along with the song once again.

Snickering could be heard outside the lab as an unknown form watched the silliness happening inside. The form also held a camera in its hands, catching the billionaire actions on film. The figure slowly ebbed its way into the lab, staying out of sight and out of the way. That is, until they accidentally knocked a couple of tools off of a nearby workbench. They made more noise when they attempted to catch said tools in a not too graceful manner.

Tony whipped around at the noise, turning off his music at the same time. He called J.A.R.V.I.S., commanding the cyber butler to activate the security measures and to make sure Pepper and Justin were safe. The butler did as he was told, causing the lab to go into Total Lockdown Mode. The doors shut and locked, windows became covered with metal shutters that locked into place. Various cannons and guns appeared from the walls, ceiling and floor in defense. Tony even armed himself with his gauntlet, pointing the glowing weapon at the unknown intruder,

"Alright, alright! I give!" a voice called. Two red and black clad arms stuck up from behind the workbench in defense. One hand dropped a tool while the other held a video camera. Tony huffed in annoyance and dropped his arm, instantly recognizing the costume and the voice.

"What the hell do you want, Wade?" the raven haired male called out, taking on a relaxed but annoyed posture.

The arms rose up and from behind the bench revealed a very wide eyed Deadpool. He slowly put his hands behind his head, as if he was about to be arrested. Then, his A.D.D. kicked in, attention turned to little Iron Man statues sitting on a counter to his left. He let out a girlish squeal and ran over to excitedly inspect them,

"O M G! I didn't know you collected these! I have all of these! Well, except for this one. And this one. And this-" Deadpool exclaimed, pointing at every statue he didn't have.

Tony rolled his eyes, "That's great. Now, what the hell do you want?"

Deadpool became quiet and looked up at Tony. He gave a shrug.

Tony raised a brow, "You. Don't. Know? You broke into my house, and you don't know why?"

"Hey! I didn't break in! Your boy let me in." Deadpool said in defense.

The billionaire's eye twitched, "Did you really give Justin a choice?".

The Mercenary shook his head. Tony groaned in annoyance. He really did not have time for this. He had to be at the Helicarrier in a few minutes and needed his suit to get there. His goal was to fix his suit and report back. No where in his schedule did it say that the Merc with the Mouth was to stop over and piss him off. It took a lot to piss off Iron Man, but the sight of Deadpool was enough to set anyone off.

"OOO! WHAT'S THIS DO?!" Deadpool called, sitting in a laboratory escape pod.

Tony shook himself out of his daze. When the hell did Wade get over there?! The raven was about to protest, but a thought came to mind. Wade was in the escape pod. A vehicle that was designed to escape from the lab. In other words, designed to go away. Tony smiled to himself as he waltzed over to the occupied pod, finger hovering over the launch button,

"Well, you press this button here, and..." Tony slammed his hand on the button.

The pod closed and shot out of the wall. Deadpool inside was screaming "WHEEEE!" as he was ejected from the tower. Once the pod was out of sight, the billionaire sighed in content. He went over to the messy workbench to clean up the mess, completely missing Wade's forgotten camera on said workbench. The security measures lifted, making the area open once more. As if on cue, Justin ran downstairs, calling for Tony.

"DAD! WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!" Justin hollered.

"Who, Just?" Tony asked, without looking at the young man.

"That bastard Deadpool! Wait until I get my hands on him!" Justin said viciously.

"Why's th- Holy hell!" Tony called.

Justin's head was shave on both sides. The hair was shaved into twin Deadpool symbols and had been colored red and black. Justin's white tank top had "I Suck, Deadpool Rocks!" spray painted in black letters on both the front and the back of it. Justin's hands were handcuffed behind his back and his pant's were down around his ankles, exposing his black boxers.

Though he should've felt bad, Tony couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. He quickly cleared his throat once he saw the hurt look on the younger male's face. He pat the younger on the back, informing him that Deadpool was gone. When asked how and where, Tony informed the other that the idiot had used the escape pod. Justin nodded, finally slipping his hands out of the cuffs and tearing off his own shirt, before throwing it out. He yanked up his pants as Tony went back to finish his suit. As the brunette walked passed the work bench, his eyes caught sight of the forgotten video camera. Curiously, he picked it up as a video began to play.

Justin chuckled, "Hey, Dad! I didn't know you were a fan of LMFAO!" he called.

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**There's the end of chapter one. Let me know how you guys like it? More to come after this!**


	2. Chapter 2

**GO HOME WADE**

* * *

**Summary: Several Times Deadpool was shunned from the Helicarrier and several Heroes' homes. Rated T-M for Deadpool's sick and twisted humor and language. Also a crossover due to crossing over into the DC universe and several cartoons and shows. **

**Author's Note: I recently became very fond of the Merc with the Mouth. I had also read several of his comics, saw his video game and watched the Ultimate Spiderman episode: "The Ultimate Deadpool". I've also watched several videos on Youtube with a guy dressed as Deadpool invading several comic book conventions. Long story short: I absolutely love the character. **

**So, I figured, why not write a fanfic about the funny psycho? **

**BTW the chapters are sort of connected but at the same time not really. So if it seems random, it is. **

**This chapter will have my main OC (Sami age 17 now) and the rest of Spiderman's kids, his "step son" Dick Grayson, and my OC's BFF Jack Dublin (age 17). Yes this is an AU set in my Teen Heroes Universe. Peter Parker is married to Bloom (Winx Club) If there is any confusion, inbox me or refer to my profile. It also has minor one-sided Spideypool (Deadpool attempting to molest Peter in front of his wife and kids). **

**Disclaimer: I only own several of my OC's who only make minor cameos. **

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**Chapter Two: No Wade, Just No (Part I)**

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**The Parker Residence**

Peter Parker yawned as he turned over in his bed, arm outstretched as he blindly looked for his wife's body. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her side of the bed. Seeing that she wasn't there, the brunette got up and stretched, yawning once more. The smell of food cooking drifted upstairs and flooded his nostrils, making him move quicker. He looked at the calendar on the wall and was relieved to see that it was in fact Saturday and he did not have work. This meant that he could eat breakfast in his pajamas with his lovely family.

Assuming said family was actually all here.

On his way to the bathroom, Peter went over everything from the night before. Sami didn't have to go to Gotham this weekend, her adopted daughters here as well. Ben didn't have soccer practice today, Anya cancelled her plans, and Dick Grayson and Jack Dublin had slept over, so they were probably joining them for breakfast. He finished up and washed his hands before proceeding downstairs. Peter silently prayed to god that SHIELD didn't need him today, because he was only in the mood for patrolling today. And maybe monitor duty later, but not a full blown mission.

As he rounded the corner, his Spidey Sense went off. He looked around him before he heard his wife shrieking, calling for him. He heard someone running down the steps behind him and grabbed at the body, putting the person in a head lock,

"DAD! It's me!" Sami called, grabbing at the arm around her throat.

Peter sighed in relief, letting his daughter go. They looked at each other with matching worried looks before running into the kitchen. Sami's little girls, Samantha and Mindy nearly tackled the elder girl as they hugged her middle and hid their faces in fear. Peter looked down at them, asking them what was going on. Mindy spoke up first,

"Some asshole broke through the window and began slicing up the couch!" she exclaimed.

"What?!" Sami asked in both shock and confusion.

"He's scary!" Lil Sam explained.

Peter told the three girls to stay put and continued on to the kitchen. Bloom was still hollering for Peter and he could hear Ben yell something along the lines of, "Get the hell away from me, freak!". Peter finally emerged into the kitchen and nearly struck the person nearest him. He stopped in his tracks as Bloom almost hit him with a frying pan. A very hot frying pan. She stopped in her tracks as well. She dropped the pan and embraced her husband. He wrapped his arms around her as well, curling his fingers in her hair. He pulled her back enough to look into her face, while also looking around at the carnage in both the dining room and living room. Ben emerged from outside, the intruder missing. Peter looked back at Bloom,

"What. Happened?" Peter asked.

Bloom took in a breath and shook her head nervously, "I- This man. He was in a full body suit. Red and black. H-He wore a mask. He looked like you! He-he..." she drifted off.

"He went freaking bat shit crazy and starting wrecking shit up!" Ben finished, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis.

"Red and black? Wore a mask and looked like me? That sounds like..." Peter began.

The front door was kicked down, making the occupants of the room hit the ground to avoid any weapons or bullets. None came, thankfully. Peter looked up at the intruder, who appeared to be back for more,

"Oh Spidey! I'm home!" a high pitched voice called out.

Peter's eyes snapped open and lifted his head off of his wife's. He recognized that voice. That irritatingly annoying voice that forever haunts every single hero that hated the owner of said voice. The Merc with the Mouth himself,

"Deadpool." Peter growled, releasing his wife. He put himself between his family and Deadpool.

"Aw! You remember!" Deadpool said excitedly.

"This guy knows dad?" Ben asked his mom. Bloom shrugged.

Deadpool chuckled and whipped out his guns. Bloom and Ben ducked behind the counter with freaked out yelps, but Peter held his ground. He glared at the older, red clad man. Wade released a chuckle, turning the safety off on his gun. Noises from the stairs made both men look over. Jack and Sami were in the entryway, weapons ready. Deadpool fired off several rounds, ignoring Peter's cry of "NO!". Luckily, the teens had dove out of the way before the shots could hit them. The Merc loaded up his guns again and held one against Peter's forehead. There was silence once again. Bloom held Ben in her arms, watching in horror at what may or may not unfold. She silently pleaded the Merc not to shoot her husband. Peter looked up defiantly at the elder male,

"You know, I purposely caused all this destruction just to get yer attention. I have to say, you're pretty damn slow. I wanted to at least have a little wrestling match before unaliving you." Deadpool said seriously.

The Spider-Man continued to glare at the man that had terrorized his family, "And why exactly did you want my attention?"

A smile could not be seen, but Spidey knew it was there underneath of the Mercenary's mask. Deadpool clicked the gun and pulled the trigger, Peter closed his eyes as Bloom reacted. She threw a fireball at the masked freak, sending him flying back through the front door. The gun still went off, but no bullets shot out. Peter opened his eyes again, and looked down at the gun. A tiny pole with a little flag stuck out of the barrel. The flag had BANG in big red letters. Bloom ran to his side and looked down as well,

"Wha?" she asked, dumbfounded. Peter looked back up at Deadpool, who was recovering and laughing hysterically,

"Is this some kind of sick joke?!" Peter hollered, running over to grab the merc by the front of his uniform.

Deadpool laughed harder, "Uh, yeah! I would never unalive you! I love you!"

"Unalive?" Ben asked in confusion.

"Yeah, cause I can't say the K word. Cause some author doesn't want to write the K Word." Deadpool said, staring at the ceiling. The other occupants in the room looked at the ceiling, but did not see anything.

Deadpool looked at them again, "Oh wait, she just wrote that to contribute to my character and relate this to my ability to break the fourth wall!"

Ben, Bloom, and Peter exchanged confused looks and shrugged. Peter angrily grabbed Deadpool and threw him outside, informing him to go home.

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**Deadpool looks at the sky, "Hey author!" **

**SParkie96: What? Stop that! Stop breaking the frigging fourth wall again! I just fixed that shit!**

**Deadpool: You can't tell me what to d- *Click* *Sends Deadpool back to Fanfic world***

**Shit, I hate when he does that. So anyway, there will be another part to this chapter. I'll update as soon as possible and I'm so very sorry this was short and suckish. I need to go back to the drawing board for this one. **


End file.
